i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
