I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
