Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
