We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
