Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
