the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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