As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
