Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
