woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
