dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
