I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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