weddingsv make me drug and hornr
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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