Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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