Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
