yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
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