If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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