If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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