his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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