PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
