I need help removing her.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
