I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
