You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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