Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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