Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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