you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He kissed a someone with a penis
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
