I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
