Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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