it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sext me about skeletons
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
