Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
