I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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