Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it was like eating out sand paper
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize