i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i've created a new STD.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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