You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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