We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this will be a night to untag.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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