Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
