ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
