he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
