if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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