i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
