i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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