last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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