I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
