So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
