This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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