He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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