I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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