Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you will always have a special place in my vag
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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