So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
