are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
