Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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