I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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