In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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