Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize