Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
