If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
