i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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