my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
