Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
