i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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