Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
