I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
