Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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