worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You need a sexual gate keeper
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
